Hello!

Haven’t updated anything since last spring when I updated the web design real fast, and gave an overview on how I was going to approach things. Well during the time since a lot has been going on with me mentally, a lot has happened at work as well.

I haven’t gotten to doing much work at all on my personal projects. This is incredibly disappointing to myself and I am not proud of it. I have been struggling mentally with things such as motivation. A lot has been changing in my life recently and it has just been causing me to become very unmotivated. I believe it has to do with a combination of work tiring me out, and myself just generally being unhappy where I am socially, and career wise(in some sense). I haven’t been doing anything I really enjoy when I get home which has probably not helped as well. And in turn it caused me to stop caring about my personal projects which to be honest has been completely unhealthy. Also my views towards the gaming industry didn’t help a lot in all of this either, but I am now trying to look more positively on it as well.

The good news is that I am coming to realize what is going on, and am working on making some changes to hopefully help my mental attitude/motivation. So far things have been working as I have started writing some code on my multi-platform engine, and working again on the design. After watching/reading a lot on the subject of motivation/happiness etc etc.. I have just been feeling much better, and getting back to the things that are important to me: games and game development.

Although I am doing a bit better now, I am finding myself making some of the mistakes I used to make before. Start working on something then step back and continually challenge and change the design rather then doing some small steps at a time which IS definitely in my opinion for small personal projects like this the way to go .. at least for the start.

My goals in this are honestly to make a small engine that I am happy with, and then possibly start working on a game that utilizes it. I probably have stated that before, and I mean duh of course that’s what I want to do. I mean there are tons of engines out there that do what I want to do with this one already, why not just make a game in one of those? When it comes to game development, and development in general I have discovered that the  part of it I find most fun is just doing the coding, and technical design. When you are working with another engine such as Unreal or Unity, while there is a lot of coding/scripting, most of the time in my experience is spent working within the toolset on art, levels etc… which I mean is where eventually I want to be with my engine but this is the more boring side of game dev(at least for me). Working on the low level part of things helps me understand much more what happens when I run a script at the high level, and from an educational experience in my opinion is much better to understand. If you know how the low level works, using the high level language/development tools are that much easier.

Hope to be posting updates/progress a lot more this summer!